Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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