i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
