The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
