i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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