I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
