one two three fourrrrnication!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
