we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
fuck your aforementioned shoe
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
