Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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