this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
