ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
