i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
either way he was missing a nipple.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
