yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize