I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
