I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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