It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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