your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
