Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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