What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
