Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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