Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
