Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize