took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
