that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
