i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
