She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I need moral support for this bender
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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