haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
