she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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