Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
