I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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