It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
