we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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