so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
