Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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