I cannot find my penis.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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