If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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