You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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