I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
