I am in a vortex of obligation.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
