Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
