the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
