I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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