Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
