Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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