yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
