He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
