His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
