I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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