omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
