Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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