But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
