but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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