Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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