it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
