Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
