Already got asked if we're dating
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
