i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
