We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
