I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
