Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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