so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
