Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
