I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize