i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Who died my cat blue again?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
