I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
